Recently, I was made aware of the existence of the latest social media app called BeReal. It purports to avoid all the trappings of the most popular apps out there. I'm looking at your twitter, facebook, instagram and (ewww) tiktok. I had never heard of it before (That’s how you know what age group I proudly belong to. Hint: it involves sports cars). My initial reaction was: "Oh, this is a cool idea. It will make people look more like their true selves, without all the Hollywood-level deception that's so common on social platforms".
I then proceeded to read a bit more about it to learn how it functions. Within about 13.62 seconds, I was convinced it was garbage. Why, you ask? Because the app beckons you at random times during the day for you to post within an imposed 2-minute window. That’s when I realized that its creators have fallen into the same trap every tech entrepreneur before them as fallen into: thinking that technology is a necessary ingredient to the recipe for living a meaningful life.
We see this time and time again with tech companies. They are so utterly disconnected from the physical world, you know, that place where the laws of physics apply, that they don’t think about the impact of their products on people beyond the basic user experience, and even that, they don't always get right. Forget the psychological and social impacts of their products. Years later, when the negative impacts are obvious and demonstrable, they throw their hands up in the air and say: “We didn’t see this coming”. When it comes to newfangled products or ideas, I side with Nassim Taleb on that one. The Lindy effect indeed predicts that this app will likely not be around in 2 years. Conversely, hanging out at a café with a friend will still be an option millenia from now, as it something that humans have been doing since the dawn of civilization.
During the COVID pandemic, most of us realized how much we relied on in-person social interactions and that social media was far from a good substitute for them. One could argues that it made our social lives worse, if we really look at it. So what is one to do?
I'm glad you asked. My message is this: don’t trust digital products without looking under the hood. Consider the implications that they might have on your daily life, how much meaning they potentially create for you and how much time they will take to engage with. We’ve seen it time and time again with facebook, twitter, instagram, tik tok and many others, now defunct. These apps compete for our most precious resource: time. And they take it away from more important and fulfilling things from life.
I have been on a social media diet for almost 3 years now. I have deleted my twitter and facebook accounts and haven’t touched instagram. The undeniable result? I have more time for myself and my life quality is about the same, if not demonstrably better, but I don’t spend hours doom-scrolling every day. I do other silly things, but these bring more joy and meaning to me. I’m not saying everyone should ride a motorcycle fast in the woods, but rather that nothing is more satisfying than finding what moves you and fully engage in it. Don't let someone else's idea of a good time become yours by default, as you will be constrained by the very limitations of the app and what it permits you to do and not do.
Social media platforms are nothing more than a one-size-fits-all experience designed to capture your attention and working really hard at never releasing it again, so you keep coming back for more. So next time a newfangled app comes to your attention, ask yourself: “What is it going to take away from that I truly enjoy doing”?
For me, I enjoy too much having the ability to ignore my phone for hours on end to let an app like BeReal snatch that back from me and push me to post when I don’t want to.
Let's be real: what’s it going to be for you?